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WILL THE COSBY SENTENCING END OR EXTEND PATRIARCHY?

HISTORICAL CAUSES AND CURES FOR SEXUAL  ABUSE IN A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY

HISTORICAL CAUSES AND CURES FOR SEXUAL  ABUSE IN A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY

 Parthenia Grant, PhD 

With Bill Cosby’s sentencing date upon us, I decided to release a chapter from my upcoming book about the return of the divine feminine in tandem with that date. It contains an examination of the psychosis embedded in the belief systems of sexual predators and abusers propped up and protected by patriarchal privilege. Cosby’s case is a perfect example of patriarchal privilege in the 21st century. I also included several direct experiences I had on the movie set of “Ghost Dad” with Cosby, during the height of his fame, to illustrate not only the depth of denial women encounter in revealing inappropriate behavior of prominent males, but the sense of entitlement and pettiness patriarchal males tend to exhibit once they fail to win the affection of a woman they desire. In my experience, “Hell hath no fury like a man scorned.” As an author, social psychologist, and former tenured professor of critical thinking, whose dissertation on personality disorders was published and became an Amazon bestseller, I have devoted decades of research to the topic of abuse against women and children, the fear of female sexuality, and the history of patriarchy. The information presented herein reveals the psychological mindset, social institutions, and constructs that keep patriarchy propped up, while providing constructive solutions designed to bridge the gender divide and create a safer society for all.

Protecting powerful, influential males from serving regular prison time for committing felonies against women and children appears to be a rite of passage patriarchy built into its system of male privilege. Patriarchy is defined as “a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.” For those who believe women are NOT “largely excluded” from power, consider the following 2017 statistic: Out of a total of 146 world leaders today, only 15 are female, eight of whom became their country’s first female leader. (www.pewresearch.org March, 2017). Judge Steven O’Neill openly protected patriarchal privilege by overruling Plaintiff’s request to deny bail to convicted felon, Bill Cosby, delaying his sentencing for five months. Cosby’s felony rape convictions represent a microcosm that reflects the larger macrocosm in place to protect male privilege.

MISOGYNY IN SOCIETY

Misogyny is defined as “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.” The Cosby case is a prominent symbol of a misogynistic society that sanctions shaming, blaming, and punishing abuse victims who speak out. For instance, Buzzfeed reported in 2018, “over half of the victims who report sexual assault face massive bills as they face defamation of character lawsuits.” Lawyer, Brett Sokolow says “I’m hearing lawyers talk about it as a strategy … to gain leverage or to get the victim to withdraw their sexual assault claim … Young women sometimes ask to withdraw their sexual assault complaints even when there is evidence to support them” (The Daily Collegian).

At the end of the day, patriarchy manages to find new and improved ways to bully women into silence as a means of protecting patriarchal privilege at all costs. It includes an unspoken belief in the inherent right of males to openly ridicule, silence, or degrade women who speak out. Olivia Gilfillan, head of Penn State’s Women’s Studies Honor Society states that anytime women march or protest on campus that, the “Williard preacher … would call us whores and scream at us.” In stark contrast, the same preacher waved and responded positively toward men who marched in a protest (The Daily Collegian April 2018). In light of the long history of laws allowing men to beat and abuse women, this double standard comes as no surprise. The expression “rule of thumb” originates with British law. It legally allowed men to beat a woman with a stick the size of a man’s thumb. Patriarchal marriage turned women into the chattel property of their husbands.

For those who think the new age has changed the way spiritual men view women, consider the reaction I received to an article I posted on my Facebook page about women choosing to remain single rather than put up with abusive men. A self acclaimed spiritual shaman I’ve known for years referred to women as “douche bags” and good for “only one thing.” The dismissive comments he wrote back to women who tried to reason with him were disturbing.

PATRIARCHY PROTECTS ITS SYSTEM OF PRIVILEGE

The judge exercising his prerogative to keep Cosby out on bail sent a message to the victims that male judges are there to protect male privilege, when a jury fails to do so. Judge O’Neill’s reply to Plaintiff’s request to deny bail to Cosby came across as dismissive. “I’m not going to simply lock him up.” In reaction to O’Neill’s decision to keep a convicted felon (who drugged and serially raped hundreds of women) out on bail for five months, Janice Dickinson, one of Cosby’s victims, told People Magazine that she could not “understand why he was able to walk out of the courtroom and go home, whereas any other sexual predator or convicted felon would’ve gone straight to jail.”

The poetic justice, however, is that Cosby’s hubris in joking about drugging women in his comedy routines, and admitting, in a deposition, that he drugged a woman to have sex with her, while flaunting his power and influence for years to avoid getting charges filed against him, appears to have aided in earning him “the first criminal conviction of a high-profile celebrity since the rise of the #MeToo movement,” which “has forced a public reckoning with influential men accused of abusing their power” (CNN). That’s right. Since the Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein cases, over 86 other high profile men are facing “potential” sexual harassment and/or felony charges, but more on that later.

In spite of an historic guilty verdict in Bill Cosby’s case, I predict that Cosby will likely end up serving no time at all. Or, he will get what amounts to a slap on the wrist by having whatever sentence he may get commuted to house arrest or probation. If, somehow, Cosby does end up serving any time at all, I predict it to be the shortest prison time possible, as in months. I hope I’m wrong, but I have legal precedents to back me up.

Consider the fact that only 10 high profile males in recent history have ever been convicted of rape and sexual assault. One of the 10 got probation. That was MTV reality star, Vincent Margara, who essentially got off Scott free on two counts of sexual assault against a child in 2007. Roman Polansky, in 1977, spent 42 days in jail for sex with a minor. Tupac served 4.5 years in prison for two counts of sexual abuse. Mike Tyson served three years for rape. Jim Morrison paid a $50,000 fine for indecent exposure on stage. British rock musician Gary Glitter got sentenced to16 years for sexually assaulting three young girls. It took a female judge to hand down a 40-175 sentence in January, 2018 to Former USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar for molesting over 150 young girls and women. All of the 150 women in the Nassar case, who accused him, were allowed to give testimony before the judge. In the Cosby case, twice as many women accused him of drugging and raping them. Only three were allowed to give testimony. If Cosby gets any prison time at all, I will have to credit the #MeToo! movement with that. The thing is, O’Neill, the judge in charge, has nothing to lose if he throws his middle finger up at the victims with a light sentence or no prison time at all. Nassar’s actions, however, put the entire gymnastics league at risk of being barred from the Olympics for culpability in protecting him. They had a lot to lose and much to gain by making an example of him.

HOW MOST PATRIARCHAL MALES

MANAGE TO STAY OUT OF PRISON

CNN broke down the likely excuses the judge will use to justify keeping Cosby far from the maddening crowd of America’s over populated prison population, one of the largest in the world. “In general, judges can take any number of factors into account when issuing a sentence. Cosby’s age, his health, the philanthropic work he’s done over the last several decades and his lack of prior criminal convictions.”

Mind you, ordinary men and women who are currently serving life sentences WITHOUT ever having killed, drugged, or raped anyone, clearly did NOT get granted special consideration. Not that I disagree with CNN, but humor me, if you will, while I deconstruct the legal system’s patriarchal plea bargaining for powerful men, like Cosby, based on CNN’s statement. First of all, philanthropy, for the rich, has always been self-serving, plus it comes with tax breaks. The poor have nothing to give away except their freedom to over crowded jails in exchange for three square meals, a roof over their heads, and free slave labor to the corporations that now run America’s privatized prison system.

Second, the reason Cosby never received any prior convictions can be summed up as follows: When you drug a woman, then rape her comatose body, you’ve damn near committed a perfect crime, since the victim can’t remember clearly what happened to her. In effect, the lack of clarity robs the victim of her right to due process. Moreover, she innately knows that almost no one is going to believe her anyway. Now, add to that, society’s tendency to blame victims for the shameful behavior of men, and it’s easy to understand why most women forego filing charges. The blame game in any rape includes women blaming other women. Patriarchy set that up by blaming Eve for the downfall of the entire race, even though Adam was not deceived. Patriarchal Greeks blamed Pandora for permitting evil to escape into the world even though it was a man who gave her the gift, knowing Pandora would open the box/jar. Women can’t win for losing under a system set up by males to protect males.

Third, the only health issue publicized about Cosby is being legally blind. I’ve been legally blind since a child, but that has never given me any special privileges.

Fourth, bringing up the issue of Cosby’s age and keeping him out on bail implies that the Judge believes Cosby could not possibly pose a threat to any female at his age. In reality, psychologically, old age rarely, if ever, turns maladaptive males into men who suddenly wake up respecting the very gender they have objectified, discriminated against, abused, or shown contempt for all of their lives … married men included.

AWW, COME ON … OLD PATRIARCHAL MALES ARE HARMLESS!

Hard core patriarchal males tend to hold on to ingrained resentment toward women as hard and as long as they hold on to the thrill of Viagra mixed with a cocktail of secrecy and sadism cemented by wealth and power.  It’s a heady delight few of them can resist, Cosby is no exception. Moreover, old misogynists with money have grown accustomed to getting away with socially unacceptable behavior. That has certainly been the case with Bill Cosby.  On the other hand, I’ve had regular guys and those of wealth, with grey hair tell me their age and silver hair gives them a “get out of jail free pass.”

MY ENCOUNTERS WITH COSBY

Cosby’s sense of entitlement, disrespect for his wife, and contempt for women and children, in general, are my main memories of several months spent with him on a movie set at Universal Studios Hollywood as a children’s talent manager. Of course, no one believed me when I talked about his blatantly inappropriate behavior with women. Granted, this was during the height of Cosby’s fame with the Cosby Show. People were bedazzled and believed in his manufactured media image as Dr. Huxtable. Hollywood’s “smoke, glass and mirrors” does a damn good job of blinding people to the truth about patriarchy while reinforcing hero worship.

The first time I met Cosby on the set of Universal Studios, he picked me up by the waist, held me up in the air (while I was wearing heels and a pencil skirt), and demanded that I “wrap” my “legs” around him. Amidst my protests, while he held me up like a rag doll, I glanced down at his wrist and noticed an inscription on a gold bracelet that read, “Camille’s husband.” After demanding that he put me down, I reminded Cosby that his behavior was inappropriate for “Camille’s husband.” He gave me that goofy grin he’s so famous for and changed the subject.

One day, immediately after Cosby had completed filming a scene, while he was dressed in a hospital gown, he spotted me alone with a female screen double, then ran down the long hallway, stopped within inches of me, then pulled up his hospital gown and flashed both of us.  His crotch was the same height as the face of the screen double, who was a “little person.” She instinctively covered her eyes with both hands. While his crotch was in my friend’s face, his glazed-over eyes stared unblinking back at me without reacting at all to the look of anger and indignation on my face. I grabbed the young lady’s hand and took off in the opposite direction. She was crying.

Earlier that day, while Cosby was filming the hospital scene mentioned above, he literally had filming stopped (mind you, this costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to do) and had the director come out from behind a walled in glass room to tell another famous actor waiting to see Cosby, to stop talking to me. We were on the other side of the glass wall speaking in whispers because both of us knew not to talk when the red recording light was on, so we were not disturbing nor distracting anyone other than Cosby who was supposed to be focusing on his scene. Later, after the actor and I continued quietly laughing and joking with each other (something I did not do with Cosby), the director stopped filming again and came out to tell the actor to wait for Cosby in his trailer because he was upsetting Cosby by talking to me.

It was clear that Cosby flashed me and the “little person” in a pathetic attempt to expose his wares to let me see what he thought I missing out on. His behavior was also prompted by Cosby’s perverted curiosity about having sex with a “little woman.” Earlier, a male crew member told me that Cosby had joked with him and a group of other men about wanting to “fuck” this little person. He mentioned that her height meant that she would not have to get down on her knees to perform oral sex on him.

It was no coincidence that this “little person” did not have a groupie mentality. Neither did I. We seemed to be pretty much the only ones on the set who could have cared less about who Cosby was. We were there to do a job; that was it. Like me, the Little Person was also married. When I asked the next day if she told her husband, she said no because he would make her quit and they needed the money. After that, she never mentioned the incident.

What also stood out to me about Cosby was his narcissistic need to be revered. He could not get enough attention, I supposed from being accustomed to people bowing and scraping to him, catering to him, and wanting or needing his help with their careers. Because I did none of that, he was at a loss for how to lure me into his lair. Since he had nothing I wanted or desired from him, he became frustrated trying to figure out what to do to get me to pay him any mind at all.

I remember Cosby inviting two young college girls on the set from a college in Atlanta to work as extras. They told me they were there because Cosby was “helping them break into acting.” I thought to myself, being an extra isn’t the way to go, but did not want to burst their bubble.  Every day on the set, I saw beautiful women waiting to meet with Cosby. I overheard him promising to help some of them with their acting careers.  As I watched women come and go everyday from his trailer, I thought to myself: either Cosby is running a casting service out of his trailer or he’s using it as a casting couch. Since he wasn’t a casting director, it seemed clear he was using his influence to entice women to believe he was actually interested in helping them. His squeaky-clean media image made women feel confident that “America’s favorite dad,” would never behave inappropriately with them. I instinctively knew better, from the moment I met him. On a couple of occasions, I dodged Cosby’s direct invitations to come inside his trailer with the excuse that I was in a hurry, headed else where. I never really slowed down to listen to anything he had to say if he was alone in front of his trailer. His jokes were not funny to me. Moreover, I did not like the condescending way he spoke to people who treated him as an equal, as opposed to an idol. I treat everyone as an equal and have never had a groupie mentality.

Cosby became particularly petty and vindictive after I confronted him directly about trying to set up my then husband, who was a world record holder in track and field, with a female Olympic gold medalist. When that did not work, Cosby tried to get my now ex, to coach young, female track and field co-eds at UCLA, where Cosby worked out. It was clear to both me and my now ex that Cosby was trying to set my ex up with other women to use that as an excuse to get me to look to him for comfort once Cosby conveniently made sure I found out. Cosby became furious that I had the nerve to confront him directly about his plan being blown. He retaliated by creating interference that prevented me from getting call times, directions to off location shoots, and script changes the night before. I don’t have space in this article to go into the details with the variety and extent of his pettiness and vindictiveness; suffice it to say, however, none of it worked. I went to people in charge at Universal Studios and complained. It stopped.

On the set, Cosby did not hide the fact that he viewed women as sexual conquests. From what I could piece together, he appeared to stay married because “it’s cheaper to keep her.”  As for Cosby’s wife, women from his generation were socially pressured to put up with cheating husbands, for appearances sake.  Look at Hillary, who stood by her cheating man, as did Jackie Kennedy and a long list of women who married rich, famous, or powerful men.  For that matter, the average married woman from previous generations tended to follow that cultural norm.  For the most part, the last generation of women decided not to buy into the sentiments in Dolly Parton’s popular song “Stand By Your Man.”

COMPLICITY BY LAW ENFORCEMENT

To gain a better perspective on how inbred and protective the culture of sexual abuse is with men in power, most of whom are married, like Cosby, and how difficult it always has been to even file, let alone get the District Attorney to launch an investigation, one has but to gauge the amount of time it took the Los Angeles Police Department to actually investigate Corey Feldman’s accusations filed in 2013 against a child pedophile ring in Hollywood involving famous and powerful men. This was in spite of the civil lawsuits and the evidence Feldman and other child stars presented. It took five years for Feldman to even get an investigation launched and that was thanks to the momentum of the #MeToo! Movement. Even so, no charges have been filed in the Feldman case. I suppose when one considers that the investigation of Bill Cosby took 18 years for the District Attorney to file charges AND go to trial, it will be interesting to see if the current investigation in the Feldman case goes anywhere. The good news is that pressure from the #MeToo! movement has prompted LAPD to refer “all sexual assault cases involving celebrities to the DA for review, regardless of the statute of limitations or merit” (TMZ). Of course that does not mean that most of them won’t get thrown out, but at least they will be investigated.

Of the 86 new cases, as of the date of t his post, not one high profile predator is currently facing even the threat of a trial, let alone real prison time, and not one of the accused is in prison, including Cosby. Furthermore, only a couple of men involved in the latest accusations of sexual misconduct are actually under police investigation. That’s correct, not even those cases involving pedophiles. Moreover, the ones who have undergone police investigation did NOT go to trial due to statute of limitations running out. Mind you, the statute of limitations usually does not run in cases involving minors who have been raped. And some of these cases did involve minors. We can safely assume that these particular cases are not going to trial due to patriarchal privilege or legal loopholes.

THE ONLY PATRIARCHAL JUSTICE YOU WILL GET

IS THE KIND YOU CAN AFFORD TO PAY FOR

The foregoing reminds me of a conversation I had with an old attorney I worked for right out of high school. When I complained about injustice against women and minorities, he told me the only justice available in America is the justice you can afford to pay for. His reply shocked and angered me. I knew he was right, though; the system was set up to protect those with money; money equates to power and influence and guess who holds most of that?

Since that time, I’ve seen nothing to indicate that the old attorney was wrong or that the system will change. Why? Because the system is working well doing what it was designed to do: (1) serve and protect influential patriarchal males; (2) punish severely those who go up against the system or those who threaten the hegemony of its constituency; (3) create criminals out of poor people, then punish them for breaking the laws the rule makers themselves break with impunity; (4) generate free slave labor out of the prisoners (i.e., the “three strikes rule” filled America’s privatized prisons with free labor for life).

Sure, every now and then, justice is permitted to prevail to placate the masses, after tremendous amounts of social pressure, but even then, justice is given sparingly and grudgingly to the oppressed, without the system of oppression ever changing at all. Thus, it’s futile to look to a system of iniquity to serve up justice, let alone expect such a system to right the wrongs in society that it deliberately creates to keep its engines greased and going. No. We must allow such a system to bankrupt itself by no longer subsidizing and patronizing it, but more on that later.

PREVAILING PATRIARCHAL NORMS ABOUT WOMEN

While doing research for a book I was writing, I interviewed several thousand males of all ages, many of them college students at the campus where I taught. I asked them the following questions: (1) “Do you trust women?” and (2) “When it comes to dating or marriage, what would you warn your son, adolescent boys, or male friend to beware of with women?” Ninety nine percent of the males admitted, some reluctantly, that they did not trust women. With the second question, the one thing they all came up with in common was: “Beware of a gold digger.” This included men who did not even have the gold to entice gold diggers. Not surprisingly, misogynistic males, who wield their power and influence like a sword, appear compelled to put “untrustworthy, gold digging women in their place.” And where might that be? Underneath men?

The gold digging answer indicated that most men place their worth in the amount of money they earn, while viewing money as a symbol that gives them power and control. That is true.  At the same time, most men who cannot earn the money they feel necessary to get what they want in life, end up blaming or resenting women instead of the monetary system set up by males. Meanwhile, around the world, women still earn considerably less than men for the same work. Moreover, most women are left to take care of themselves and their children on subsistence wages. In America, half of married men, after divorce, pay no child support at all. The other half, of divorced males, pay way less than the law requires.

ABOUT THE RECENT SEXUAL PREDATORS BEING FLUSHED OUT

After perusing the 86 high profile cases of rape, pedophilia and sexual harassment in 2018, what I found most interesting was the fact that the men accused of sexual harassment seemed clearly relieved, particularly after Bill Cosby got a guilty verdict.  Their apologies read as if someone advised them that all they needed to do was “fess up” to clean up their mess. Indeed, they have cause to feel lucky since sexual harassment charges tend to end up in civil, not criminal court, equating to no jail time.

I found most of the excuses these men made for their behavior real life comedy. If the following statement, made by comedian Louis C. K., doesn’t make you laugh, you may be in need of a blood infusion in your humor vein. He outright admitted, “These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was OK because I never showed a woman my dick without asking first, which is also true. But what I learned later in life, too late, is that when you have power over another person, asking them to look at your dick isn’t a question. It’s a predicament for them. The power I had over these women is that they admired me. And I wielded that power irresponsibly” (Glamour.com).

The honesty and candor in C.K.’s response was provocative and compelling. I respect C.K.’s readiness to admit the truth about masturbating in front of women, not to mention his insight that he had put these women in a terrible predicament they could not have seen coming by taking advantage of their admiration of him as an open door to turn them into sexual objects.

No one should be surprised at President Trump backing Roy Moore, Alabama Republican Senate Candidate, accused of raping a 14 year old. After all, Trump’s reputation for sexual harassment was well publicized, yet did nothing to harm his bid for Presidency. That, however, speaks volumes about the moral fabric of a large segment of the American population.

Needless to say, Roy Moore is not being prosecuted. “Addressing the allegations, President Trump told reporters, “We don’t need a liberal Democrat in that seat” and added, “Roy Moore denies it—that’s all I can say.”  Trump officially endorsed Moore. The Republican National Convention restored funding to the campaign, and Mitch McConnell rescinded his earlier criticism, saying Alabama voters should “make the call.” Moore ultimately lost the election.” (Glamour.com).

I’m grateful that the press is covering these accusations of sexual perdition. In truth, when the public is informed of the facts, they naturally tend to make more informed decisions. That is more than I can say for a legal system that can’t seem to find a way to prosecute political pedophiles and influential felons, while piling prisons high with non-violent criminals and detention camps just as high with immigrants who have committed no crimes at all against humanity. Let’s face it, these camps are prisons.

It is important to keep in mind that the problem of sexual abuse runs deep within the bowels of society. We are only beginning to scratch the surface. While all eyes are on Hollywood, attention is being diverted from the powerful institutions protecting power brokers behind the trillion-dollar human trafficking industry involving child prostitution, child pornography, sex slavery, pedophilia, and Satanic cults performing ritual murder of children. Things are ominously quiet about these goings on in institutions like the government, religion, and law enforcement.

Perhaps Ben Affleck’s simple apology comes across as the most sincere while also serving as a warning to men: “This is just the kind of thing that we have to, as men, as we become more aware of it, be really, really mindful of our behavior and hold ourselves accountable,” he recently told Stephen Colbert during an appearance on The Late Show. (Glamour.com May 17, 2018).

WHAT DO REAL WOMEN REALLY WANT?

Before “moderates” accuse me of lumping all men together, of hating men, of being biased, or racist for opening with the Cosby case, bear in mind that it was “moderates,” whom Martin Luther King harshly addressed in his “Letter From The Birmingham Jail” for their tendency to delay justice by offering lip service in favor of justice that ends up supporting injustice. In reality, the vast majority of women wish to simply put an end to the current system of injustice, iniquity, war without end, suffering, and worldwide poverty.

In addition, what women really want is for their children and for future generations to live in peace and harmony with the earth on this beautiful, blue planet of plenty, that is perfectly capable of providing abundance, prosperity and peace for all of earth’s inhabitants. More and more women and men are awakening to the reality that the major problems on this planet are manufactured by patriarchy and that all of these problems have simple solutions that are being deliberately suppressed and subverted by those in power, in that solving the very problems that patriarchy creates does not serve their agenda of staying on top by oppressing those on the bottom.

THE PATHOLOGY BEHIND PATRIARCHY’S PERVERSION

What keeps the wheels of patriarchy greased and running efficiently include their paranoia and psychopathy backed by a Babylonian money magic system, which patriarchy created, with guile, craft, and cunning so that they could afford to make the rules and break the ones they make. It is true: He who has the money makes the rules. This paper money system allows the power elite to control 97% of the wealth of the world by keeping it in the hands of 3% of the people. Massive amounts of money equates to considerable privilege, power, and influence over the legal system, mass media, and politics, creating a preexisting bias in favor of patriarchal privilege that serves to reinforce the belief, in powerful men, that they are above the law. Buying police, politicians, judges and witnesses, while slandering, blackmailing, and financially bankrupting those who come forward to expose the truth, all serve as a form of protection and security for influential, sexual predators and other high profile criminals.

Decades of academic research on my part uncovered thousands of years of patriarchal domination, dislike, contempt for, and prejudice against women. Moreover, patriarchal privilege is hidden in plain sight with world leaders given a a license to commit mass murder, torture, enslave, rape and commit genocide against women, children, and people of color. The latter serve as dispensable pawns in a global game of chess that patriarchal leaders love to play and never seem to tire of. Mass murder committed in the name of male games misleadingly labeled “Protecting Democracy; War on Terror; Saved By Socialism or Communism,”  are being played with the resources of another country at stake. Make no mistake about it, the main resource sought is control over human resources, because without that resource, who would do the mining, harvesting, hunting or gathering for the patriarchal power elite at the top who are too lazy to work. They believe everyone beneath them should do all of the hard work while they reap the profits. It’s an inequitable system built on the backs of the labor and suffering of the 97%.

ALL MALES BENEFIT FROM PATRIARCHY

As quiet as it’s kept, to a greater or lesser degree, all males benefit from some form of patriarchal privilege, which is why this topic is attacked, dismissed, denied, and difficult for the average individual, male and female to entertain. In the web of life, women and men are inexorably connected by virtue of the fact that women give birth to men, raise them, and each new generation perpetuates that cycle.  As such, patriarchy could not continue without both mothers and fathers perpetuating patriarchal privilege through their sons by favoring them over daughters; by condoning womanizing; and by not insisting that sons respect mothers, sisters, and all females.

Everyone plays a part, directly or indirectly in either perpetuating the agendas of patriarchy, or in doing their part to end the privileges it reserves primarily for those at the top while keeping those at the bottom oppressed. Thus, in patriarchy’s global chess games, honorary females in positions of power, who benefit from the patriarchal privilege gained or maintained by supporting patriarchal war games or agendas that harm women, children, and minorities, are equally culpable as patriarchal male leaders. Women and men who fail or refuse to support plans or policies designed to end exploitation of human resources, or to grant equal protection, economic parity, and equality for women, children, or minorities, are also culpable. Moreover, failure or refusal to protect the sanctity of human life and to advocate equal treatment for everyone under the law, equals acquiescence and indirect support of a system that subsists off of the exploitation and domination of women, children, and minorities.

It is time for males who profess to care, to offer more than lip service in support of parity for women, children, and minorities.  It’s time to walk the walk.  And when men refuse to support the women in their lives, women must become willing to walk away from men whose words do not align with their actions. That is called hypocrisy which undermines trust and accountability in relationships. The foundation for trust is Integrity. No man in his right mind, with an ounce of integrity would support a system that subsists off of exploitation and suppression of half of the population; the half that gives birth to him; the half who nurtures him; the half who keeps the circle of life going.

THE SICKNESS IN THE SOUL OF PATRIARCHY

Every male enters the world through the womb of a woman. The fact that females are the progenitors and caretakers of life on earth should evoke reverence. But we know that is not the case.  So let’s call a spade a spade. Males who defile and revile women; who perceive women as good for only one thing; who label women “douche bags,” or “bitches and whores;” men who treat women as less than the female dogs that the word bitch derives from, are men with a disorder of the mind who are suffering from a sickness of the soul gone untreated for so long it seems normal to them and unavoidable to others. It’s not normal and it is avoidable.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as psychosis magically subsiding on its own due to age; it does not disappear without treatment or intervention, divine or human. The real tragedy, however, is that the system is not even set up to address the problem, let alone treat it, in that misogyny is widely accepted in society as inevitable since those damn women bring it on themselves.  In other words, what the prevailing patriarchal attitude implies is that men can’t help being abusivethat men are not responsible for their behavior since women provoke it by the way they dress, or perhaps by virtue of a woman’s very existence within a patriarchal system. The problem is that the foregoing belief system is actually accepted as the divine order of things. Thus, until misogyny and the entire system of patriarchy is finally accepted for the reality of what it was born out of, a psychosis, it will remain socially acceptable and continue to go untreated.

Yes, there are anger management programs for men who batter, yet no public programs currently exist (other than the one I created on a college level) that is specifically designed to treat patriarchal privilege and misogyny, which are at the root of anger management issues. It’s the white elephant in society that everyone ignores. Over the past couple of decades, I have successfully taught about, addressed, and turned around the root cause of sexism, racism, nationalism, and classism with male and female students. Naturally, I encountered tremendous resistance and bullying by administration and faculty for being effective and for getting so many awards for my work, but that’s the price all innovative teachers pay for their vision, dedication, and sacrifices. It is also the stuff of movies like Freedom Writers; Stand and Deliver; and To Sir, With Love.

I have witnessed this patriarchal disease of the mind and soul target women, minorities, and children my entire life. I believe there is no better time than now to address this sickness of the soul. That’s why I have called attention to the white elephant in the room by accurately labeling it as a psychosis that goes unchecked.  Giving away this chapter in a book I am about to release on the return of the divine feminine is my love offering to those with open hearts and rational minds who recognize that misogyny, racism, and discrimination are sicknesses of the soul that only love and truth have the power to heal.

Consider the fact that payback is referred to as “a bitch.” That phrase clearly implies masculine fear of revenge by females for the systemic abuses women have suffered at the hands of patriarchy over the millenniums. Many patriarchal males also experience a feeling of trepidation about women actually obtaining equal power. That’s why so little real progress has been achieved in this area, regardless of popular opinion in that regard. The statistics rarely li. The underlying fear is that if women gain real power, they will become real bitches and proceed to oppress men in much the same way that women have been oppressed, marginalized, and demonized by patriarchy. Other patriarchal males resent the steady, uphill strides women are making toward autonomy and self-sufficiency through higher education and entrepreneurial-ship. It’s also unsettling for many men to see droves of professional women choosing to be single and raise children alone rather than be in an abusive, controlling or unsupportive relationship with a man. Probably the most unnerving trend for patriarchy is the unprecedented number of women banning together to support each other in an effort to expose and end the systemic abuse that women, children, and minorities are subjected to in a patriarchal society. Any system that promotes “dog eat dog,” “survival of the fittest,” and ganging up on a single individual who dares defy and try to change the system, is a system that poses a real threat to all. If you don’t believe me, just take a look at the alarming percentage of people in America on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication, or the disturbing rate of suicide among youth worldwide who finally reached a desperate point of hopelessness and despair surrounding a perceived inability to effect change in a world driven by capitalistic greed, consumption, destruction, and service to self.

Granted, the system of patriarchy has been around for thousands of years, but that is no reason to continue supporting it as if no other system existed before this one. Archeology, history, solid science, and mythology defy that logical fallacy. The old saying, “for lack of vision, people perish” is true. It is precisely a lack of vision and fear of change that help perpetuate the problem. The old adage “I’d rather stick with the devil I know versus the one I don’t know,” is also a part of the problem. That fallacy is an enemy to change because the devil you don’t know can just as easily be an angel. Growing tired of dancing to the manic, dizzying dance of the devil is a prerequisite for leaving that party and finding a better way to entertain yourself and live your life.

Consider this: what if the information and insights I am revealing are true? Wouldn’t you rather be on the side of right, that leads to rectification of the most glaring wrong in society (oppression of everything perceived as feminine), verses being an apathetic, self serving, ignorant bystander who overtly or inadvertently supports a system of oppression because you’re too afraid, too complacent, or willfully ignorant to take a chance on change, to even give change a chance? Wouldn’t you feel better about yourself by putting on the lens of a visionary and taking a long look at all that’s possible outside the walls that patriarchy placed around humanity’s belief system?

THE WALLS OF PATRIARCHY WILL NOT CRUMBLE OVERNIGHT

Take a poll to find out what male is NOT resentful of paying child support, alimony, or dividing up community property in a divorce or break up. Many will admit that they resent paying money for a piece of property they can no longer screw. Almost 80 percent of American marriages end in divorce. Over 50% of young, single women are choosing to never marry. A growing number of women are tired of patriarchal privilege, dealing with double standards, believing in fairy tales, and hero worship. Discontent is a good sign that things are in need of change, while the refusal to comply with the cultural norms of the status quo is also a sign the system is falling apart. Even though change frightens people, change is the pathway to progress.

NO MORE DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS!

Since its inception, protecting the system of male privilege at all costs was the first priority of patriarchy.  That built in defense mechanism, with it’s inevitable push back against anyone or anything perceived as a threat leads me to feel it would be a bit naive to expect the hallowed halls of patriarchy to come tumbling down overnight. Having said that, I do believe Oprah was right in her Golden Globe speech when she said, “a new day is dawning.” Indeed I can feel in my bones that she was also right when she said, “their day is over!” referring to patriarchy’s inability to silence the voices of the thousands of women who have awakened to the realization that Dr. David Viscott was right when he said that we are “only as sick” as our secrets. Silence only serves the patriarchal agenda of abuse that requires lies, denial and secrecy for it to continue. So, yes, Oprah was right when she declared that the day of keeping the sick secrets surrounding abuse is definitely over, as is protecting abusers.

Thanks to the courage and vision of trailblazers like Oprah, there is now nowhere for these men to hide without fear of their dark deeds being exposed. I believe it was appropriate that Oprah be the one to make this announcement since she was the leading lady of prime time talk shows who actually opened up a new narrative, who created a new dialogue, then gave women a platform with a safe place to discuss crucial topics relating to abuse that had heretofore been taboo until she courageously came forward decades ago as the first prime time talk show host to publicly say #MeToo! about her abuse long before a movement was built around this slogan. As a result, I’ve got nothing but respect and admiration for Oprah who has always been, and continues to be an inspiration to others.

I am convinced that Oprah’s Golden Globe award speech (which elicited tears of hope and gratitude) and her support of #MeToo sent powerful shock waves to the patriarchal movers and shakers in Hollywood, most of whom resonated with her message, from the looks on their faces in the video. I am aware, from being on the set with Cosby that he and Oprah go way back, which was another reason why I was so inspired by her delivering this speech in the wake of Cosby’s trial. I’m not implying that her speech was directly addressing the allegations against Cosby, I’m simply pointing out that she could have been politically correct and delivered a different speech in light of what was happening with Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby.

Clearly, Cosby’s defense team agrees with me about the far reaching effect of Oprah’s support of #MeToo! in her speech, as reported by NBCnews.com who states that “The #MeToo movement was a cloud over the defense’s closing arguments … with Bliss telling jurors that they shouldn’t allow it to influence their decision.” I also feel that the guilty Cosby verdict may well portend the “reckoning” that Delores warns of in the HBO hit series Westworld’s Season 2 premier. Delores poignantly points out that patriarchy’s perverted penchant for biting into forbidden “delights, have violent ends.” I don’t see violence breaking out behind women finally growing weary of being treated like second class citizens. I think the revolution in consciousness currently occurring may well feel “violent” to supporters of the patriarchal system of privilege as its shaking up and breaking down rigid, unsustainable and insupportable belief systems.

The sobering truth is most sexual assault cases are perpetrated by males. Thus, I repeat: NOW is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the women and children of the world. Women cannot do this without the support of the men who claim to love and support them. A line in the sand has been clearly drawn. It’s time for men to put their money where their mouth is. It’s time for men to choose whether they are going to do the right thing or continue to silently condone patriarchal privilege by saying nothing and doing even less of nothing. It is time for good men and women to be #DoneWithInequity! (my hash tag). At the end of the day, it is going to take good men and good women working together to change the current statistics wherein “every 98 seconds someone is sexually assaulted and every 8 minutes a child is sexually assaulted. Meanwhile, only 6 out of every 1,000 perpetrators go to prison.”

THE PRESSURE TO GO ALONG TO GET ALONG

One highly recommended doctor I went to for job related stress and harassment for whistleblowing, told me in a condescending voice that all I had to do to stop the harassment and end the stress was to shut up and keep quiet about the discrimination, bullying and corruption at work … My job related stress would magically disappear with my silence. It took me a minute to process the fact that she was advocating being a sell out for a job. I left, never to return, realizing that a sell out would never understand that writers and public speakers, like myself, can’t keep silent about injustice, discrimination, or injustice. We believe Martin Luther King, Jr. was right when he said, “an injustice anywhere in the world is a threat to justice everywhere in the world.” We speak about it and expose it for the sake of freedom and justice. She would never get that selling out or going along to get along with corruption and abuse isn’t something we are equipped to do.

Shortly after that, I quit a tenured professorship because I also knew that the doctor was right about one thing: acquiescence is the only way to coexist within the hallowed halls of higher education. It’s the same for all patriarchal institutions. That whistleblowers and sexual abuse victims come forward at all, in spite of all the shaming, blaming, and retribution, is a testament to the courage and compassion we have for those whose voices are suppressed. It also reflects love for self because we know that keeping the abuser’s dirty little secrets has killed too many victims. Sadly, sexual abuse victims who cannot handle the shame and feelings of being stained and robbed of their innocence and ability to trust that there is justice in this world, often commit suicide. A famous example is child actor Corey Haim, who was sexually abused by Hollywood sexual predators involved in his career. Corey’s death is one of the main reason’s why his co-star, Corey Feldman, keeps pushing to find a way to get their story on the big screen by seeking funding for a movie about what happened to them. He has been unable to get funding and support from the Hollywood machinery responsible for Haim’s suicide.

I came to understand and accept that most people do not know the difference between a whistleblower that has everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain by telling the truth, from someone who is lying and attacking the reputation and credibility of the whistleblower for exposing the truth. Ultimately, my liberation from patriarchal oppression came through overcoming fear of slander, persecution, physical harm and financial ruin. Trust me, it was a journey entailing a lot of hard work, determination and help from a higher power. I had to work through the trauma inflicted by patriarchy as retribution for me being unwilling to comply with patriarchal demands; being unwilling to abide by double standards; and being fundamentally incapable of keeping dirty little secrets.

A SIMPLE CODE OF CIVILITY FOR MALES

Unlearning patriarchal norms begins with the myth that a man gets to choose the woman. That was one of the main reason’s why the first order of business for patriarchy involved grabbing control of all human and natural resources, which essentially put an end to a woman’s right to freedom of choice over her body. Before patriarchy, a woman had control over her choice of a partner and her sexual freedom to say no.

I created the following code of civility for men as a first step in re-establishing healthy boundaries between the sexes. It is designed to eliminate confusion for males as to what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior with women. Keep in mind, however, the following is intended as a guide.  It is subject to revision as women and men grow in awareness together.

  • Intimacy is ALWAYS to be initiated by a woman. A woman’s body is a sacred, invitation only party; it is not for barter, sale, or for the taking. You have no right to violate her personal space or physical boundaries.
  • If a woman is attracted to you and feels safe in your presence, she will invite you into her personal space.
  • It is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind once intimacy has been initiated. If she pushes you away or asks you to stop, that means stop. It does not mean try harder or do something different.
  • Choose a woman who also chooses you, then follow her lead.
  • Just because you are attracted to a woman does not mean she is attracted to you. She will let you know if she is interested in you. Even so, you will still have to earn her confidence and trust.
  • If a woman expresses interest in you and you are not interested, be honest and polite. Always let any woman you meet know if you have a girlfriend, partner, or wife.
  • When unsure if a woman is flirting, ask. Be grateful if she says yes, and gracious if she says no.
  • It is always inappropriate to ask a woman for sex or to touch her body without being invited to do so. If she wants to be touched, she will guide your hands to her body. If a woman moves away from you, or if she pushes you or your hand away and you continue to touch her, you are sexually harassing her and violating her personal boundaries.
  • It is inappropriate to tell lewd jokes, or to use lewd, sexually charged language in the presence of any woman or child. That is sexual harassment.
  • Nudity or masturbation in front of a woman or child is felony sexual misconduct.

THERE IS NO “IMPLIED CONSENT” WHEN IT COMES TO SEX;

CONSENT MUST BE GIVEN EXPLICITLY

Coming of age, I could not afford to be a naïve or overly trusting female. It is quite dangerous in a patriarchal society where narcissistic, predatory behavior by males is considered a right of passage and their prerogative. I agree with Oprah’s character in the movie The Color Purple, when she said: “All my life I had to fight! A girl child ain’t safe growing up in a family of men.” I would edit that to read: “A girl child isn’t safe growing up in a patriarchal society.”

Many rapists or would be rapists prefer to coerce their victims into giving “implied” consent. Others assume that if you allowed yourself to be alone or in the same room with them that you already granted implied consent to be raped. They actually consider being alone with them as overt consent, indicating that you “want it.”

I learned to assiduously avoid being alone with any man I intuited was a womanizer; one that I sensed was a predator; or one who exhibited boundary issues. I developed a sixth sense about such things. In fact, I ended up with a high level of discernment and intuitive “knowing” regarding how to avoid potential danger. I learned to quickly assess when I was being baited, complimented, or courted into a compromising situation.

After my divorce, I encountered enough narrow escapes with men to learn NOT to date men in a “hurry” to get a woman in bed.  This type will not take “no” for an answer. They actually believe that you “asked for it” by going out with them. These are potential date rape guys. I also learned to be very discerning about whom I bother to go out with. I always met in a public coffee shop or restaurant.

Granted, it helps being an intuitive empath who is able to feel and sense the energy of others. I am also able to pretty accurately read people’s thoughts and intentions when I tune in. Most of the time, I don’t like what I hear or feel. As a result, in public I tend to tune most people out unless they violate my personal boundaries. The good news is that becoming more empathic and learning to read body language are skills anyone can develop.

WOMEN: YOUR BEST DEFENSE

I had to learn that truth needs no defense. This entailed understanding that those who make up lies about others designed to ruin the professional reputation of another are the lost, dark souls whom M. Scott Peck calls, “People of The Lie.” They are neither capable of speaking the truth nor able to exercise rational thought. They are also morally bankrupt individuals who act out insanity loops. Cognitive dissonance renders them incapable of critical thinking. Embracing, speaking or hearing the truth is acutely against their code of conduct.

I also had to overcome fear of retaliation and death by the status quo. I was only able to accomplish this by accepting the truth that people can only kill my physical body. My immortal soul, which is sovereign, can never be destroyed. I alone have authority over my body and I own the right to say no to whatever and whom ever seeks to violate my body or to usurp my soul’s right to sovereignty. These are the only things, throughout my life, that I deemed worthy of fighting over or dying for.

MY REFUSAL TO SUBMIT TO VICTIMIZATION

My stepfather kidnapped me when I was 13. After he pulled over onto the shoulder of Highway 290, in his 18-wheeler, the instant I realized what was about to happen to me, I intuitively assessed the situation and made a decision. I was going to jump out of the truck and run into the middle of a four-lane highway, calling for help. Mind you, the speed limit was 70 miles an hour and most drivers on Highway 290 averaged 90mph.  I was fully aware that I would either get rescued or killed. Either way, I chose to take my chances. With calm defiance and deep resolve, I informed my stepfather of my decision to seal my fate on Highway 290, nicknamed “Dead Man’s Highway” due to the number of pedestrians killed trying to cross that roadway. I added that if I ended up dead, he would have to explain what made me jump. Talk about a mood switch! All of a sudden, his mind turned from molesting a young girl to saving his ass from being responsible for her death. This coward began begging me not to do it, promising to leave me unmolested, followed by apologies, and pleas for me not to tell anyone. I couldn’t wait to tell the world. And I did. Guess, what happened? The entire little town I lived in vilified me for exposing a child sexual predator. I was hurt and stunned, but got over it because I knew something was wrong with their ability to reason straight. I went to live with my grandparents in another town.

I learned a couple of invaluable lessons from that traumatic set of events. (1) When it comes to dealing with the misconduct of friends, family, or males in positions of authority, truth becomes the first casualty. (2) I also witnessed how desperately afraid sexual predators are of being exposed. I saw first hand how quickly they morph into cowards the instant their prey embody the integrity in Patrick Henry’s slogan: “Give me liberty, or give me death!” In essence, it is NOT your death that lights their fire: It’s your fear, pain, shock, begging, groveling, and loss of dignity that feeds their inner demons whose food is negative, low vibrational motions. Thus, your calm willingness to die for your beliefs or virtues is a high vibrational frequency that frightens them. That frequency sends predators into a state of fight or flight because maintaining their low vibrational frequency within a high frequency energy field is impossible. The law of entrainment will not allow that. The low frequency will entrain itself to match the higher one. In such situations, predators have no choice but flight. They will do what it takes to protect their inner demons from being powerless in the presence of a higher power. The prime directive is to protect the parasitic hijacker who has taken control over humanity’s free will. Hence, it’s critical to teach abuse victims how and why they must overcome fear, acquiescence, and helpless. Such states induce shock. And shock freezes the fight or flight mechanism, allowing abusers to take advantage of an individual who’s spirit has left the body leaving it compliant to the will of the abuser.

At the age of 19, I found myself, once again faced with a situation that required me to choose death over acquiescence. I quietly stood my ground and said “no” to two Houston police officers who commanded me to get into their squad car when I had done nothing. This was during a time when the police in Houston were under investigation for multiple rapes and murders of young women. It was the middle of the day and I was waiting on the bus to go back to work, while standing alone in front of my apartment building, (not on the sidewalk or street). Guilty of no crime whatsoever, I refused to take even one step toward the sidewalk upon being commanded to come to the squad car.  I decided then and there that those two cops would just have to shoot me and deal with the death of an unarmed, pretty young girl, killed in cold blood in midday on the lawn of a quiet, expensive, Jewish neighborhood.  I noticed that the cop on the passenger side was drinking and slurring his words when he spoke to me. After calmly stating that I had done nothing wrong, I made no move to walk toward the car. I heard the driver tell the drunk cop, who was trying to open his car door, to leave me alone. The drunk cop gave up and they drove off.

What I learned from this incident was to stand my ground when confronted with authority figures trying to bully me because they are accustomed to automatic compliance by those who are afraid to question or disobey authority figures abusing their power and authority. What they are seeking is consent through me voluntarily handing over my rights and violating my innate authority to say no to any order that supersedes my own authority. I also learned that no matter how crazy or deranged a predator is, in that moment, their instincts are attuned to over take or attack any prey perceived as weak or who goes into fight or flight mode. They will avoid altogether or give up on potential prey who refuse to go willingly or without question into the dark night.

WOMEN AS CHATTEL PROPERTY OF PATRIARCHAL MARRIAGE

Before the current system of patriarchy, children were viewed as the property of women. A remnant of this practice still exists in Jewish culture with Jewish heritage being passed down exclusively through the mother. If your mother is not Jewish, even if your father is, the child will not be considered Jewish. Biologically, this is sound science in that the mitochondrial DNA is passed down from mother to daughter in tact.

Patriarchal marriage, that rendered women the property of males, made women dependent on men for financial support in order to survive in a society where women were essentially chattel property of a man … a slave. Under this system, unless a mother is already broken by severe abuse, she will conform to extreme forms of patriarchal maltreatment in an attempt to protect or provide for her children. Patriarchal fathers do not have a good track record of protecting and providing for their chattel property. As long as the legal system remains dominated by patriarchal males, male privilege will continue to oppress all things feminine, including the by-products of the female body, children.

VIOLENCE IS ESSENTIAL TO PATRIARCHY’S SUBSISTENCE

Portraying females as inferior subordinates, created by a male God to serve males, was manufactured by patriarchy to justify systemic use of violence to create trauma as a means of domination and control.  Repeated abuse breaks the spirit, producing apathy and acquiesce through post traumatic stress syndrome incited by feelings of fear and helplessness.  Emotional abuse, coupled with brainwashing can create Stockholm syndrome wherein the victim identifies with the abuser and protects him. Ultimately, a primary impetus behind the epidemic of violence and trauma on this planet is to keep the masses compliant, unable, and unwilling to rise up en-mass.  Notice, I did not say revolt, because there is no point in wasting valuable energy trying to over throw the current system when all one has to do is starve it of subsistence. That way, the system will die a slow death on its own when enough people stop feeding it the low vibrational energy of fear, compliance, co-dependency, and addictions. Humans have brilliant minds capable of designing better systems than the one we have; systems designed to continually raise the intelligence, emotional, and happiness quotients of humanity.

MY COMMUNITY PROGRAM TO HELP HEAL PREDATORY MALES

In closing, society cannot look to politicians or public officials, who manufacture problems to keep people dependent on them, to come up with solutions that actually work. Real solutions come from simple folks with the common sense to implement change on a grassroots level.  The reason society has not focused on coming up with an effective form of therapy to heal the sickness surrounding misogyny and rape is because the focus is on making rape and abuse a woman’s issue, the victim’s fault. It’s not a woman’s issue: violence, abuse and rape affect all aspects of society; whatever affects the mother affects the world. Until all women and children are safe, the world will remain a mess. Thus, making each community safe for women and children, one community at a time, must become the number one priority of each male who says he loves the women and children in his life. It’s a given that every woman also needs to make this their focus as well. Education, information, and therapeutic programs are a critical component of the healing process for abuser and abused.

The following proposed program entails accountability, transparency, and cooperation within families, communities, and males working together with females to implement a long term treatment program designed to effectively address and eradicate the root cause of violence against women, children and minorities: prevailing patriarchal belief systems, cultural norms, complicity via silence, and ingrained contempt for women.  The community treatment program would be loosely based on the five following protocols:

  • Implementation of a therapeutic community based program run by qualified individuals who have transcended their own trauma, fear, hatred, anger, and contempt for women, children and minorities by successfully completing a two-year certificated program designed to treat the trauma and psychosis created by patriarchal beliefs, trauma and abuse. Graduates from the program will teach offenders in male/female pairs who work together.
  • The protocol of male/female pairs contacting and working together with offenders is designed to let the offender see that the men in the neighborhood are proactively working together with women, sending a strong signal of solidarity and respect for females and a zero tolerance for violence or abuse of them.
  • Teachers will personally contact all offenders in the neighborhood to invite them to participate in the program, explaining its purpose and how it works. They will be informed of the following: That the community is working together to make everyone feel safe; offenders are not being targeted nor singled out. They are being personally invited to participate in a community wide effort to promote transparency and healing through a therapeutic, community based treatment program that is a voluntary two-year treatment protocol. Everyone involved in the program have successfully completed the program. Even though offenders may choose not to participate, until they successfully complete the program, as a safeguard for the community, untreated offenders will not be permitted to be alone in the presence of the women and children in the neighborhood. All offenders are personally invited and welcomed to join in with the community’s efforts to hold all men accountable for violence against women and children, since the problem will not go away on its own untreated.
  • As an additional safeguard, all members of the community are regularly given updated information with the names and addresses of all sex offenders and potentially dangerous criminals living in the neighborhood. The Neighborhood Watch Program keeps an eye on children and women who live in the vicinity of offenders to ensure their safety. Publicly identifying all molesters, rapists, and dangerous criminals in the community is important to protect unsuspecting victims from being unwittingly lured into situations where they are alone with predators.  Since information on sexual predators and violent criminals is public record, it is easy to access names and addresses to distribute to the community.  Through the Neighborhood Watch Program, the community can also get permission to post weatherproof signs stating that a sex offender or dangerous criminal lives on the property. They can be posted on the public sidewalk, in front of the residence of offenders, with the unit number, if it’s an apartment or condo, and in public buildings and establishments.
  • Invite offenders who have successfully completed the program to become teachers, along side women. Perpetrators appreciate learning from and working with those who have successfully overcome the issues they are dealing with.

Men holding each other accountable involves breaking allegiance to the prevailing “bros before hoes.” That mentality places considerable social pressure on men to protect their “bro” when he commits a crime against a woman or child. By the same token, it is also critical that women abandon the patriarchal program prompting them to “hate on” smart, attractive, or successful women based on patriarchal, pre-programmed jealousy, envy and insecurities.

Let’s face it, the guilty verdict against a serial sexual predator like Cosby, with a long history of getting away with abusing women, could never have happened if a group of women had not decided to come together in support of each other. The whispers have turned into rumblings and the cracks in the walls are big enough for everyone to see through the shenanigans of patriarchy. One down … Many more to go! #DoneWithInequity!”

For more articles by Dr. Parthenia Grant, visit her website at www.doctorparthenia.com. Emai: divinelovetalk@gmail.com. Phone: (Text only 818 660 9050)

REFERENCES

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/04/27/us/bill-cosby-appeal-prison-time/index.html

https://www.glamour.com/gallery/post-weinstein-these-are-the-powerful-men-facing-sexual-harassment-allegations

Grant, Ruthie. I Thought I Was the Crazy One. Personhood Press. CA 2003. Also published under the pseudonym, Amorah.

 

 

 

 

20 responses on "WILL THE COSBY SENTENCING END OR EXTEND PATRIARCHY?"

  1. Thank you for this powerful and honest post. It shows how significant and huge this problem is.

  2. What does a real man, like me, say or do about truths that effect Women to such a degree as this article exposes? Answer: “The Stronger the Woman, the Godlier the Woman”

  3. Doc.
    Some truths are very scary and reading this story/article/blog was one of them for me
    Your personal experience is/was
    The Judge
    The Jury
    The Verdict

  4. Accomplished men do feel entitled. No more being rewarded by society to reach out and grab what they want!!
    That is Crosby in spades!!!

  5. Your article is both eye opening and mind blowing. The cogent points made brought a huge sense of clarity to a former abuse survivor, like myself, who could not rationalize what the fuck is and has been going on. You have a keen way of bringing light to the truth, and its done in a refined and eloquent way. Dr. Grant, you fearlessly and intelligently bring attention to the suffocating fumes of patriarchy that have intoxicated us all over millenniums. Your article is shocking; it is like taking the rug we’ve been sweeping our shit under to see what has been festering under there. And damn, we have brushed away a lot of ugly bullshit, leaving the house of our society to suffer from our blind eye and complacency.

    I had flash backs to my many experiences of being a victim to patriarchy and the feelings I felt then, and the survival mechanisms I engaged in during those tumultuous times. I also empathized with the fellow abuse victims listed in your post, sharing an all too familiar memory. While reading the article, at times, I felt angry, at other times, I felt discouraged. What brought me back to being hopeful about the future was the solutions you presented towards the end. Your solution structure is a brilliant platform to build up from with both women and men working together; transparency and integrity go a long way. As we find our society in the state of body that has turned against itself, our solution is to stop treating our symptoms and start looking at the root causes of our illness; we do this with both the right hand and left hand working in sync.

    I desire a community that speaks the truth, is truly for the truth, and protects the truth at all costs; I am done with a society that is all about the lie. And, I am done with bowing down due to low vibrational fear that feeds the mother fuckers!

    P.S. The poet in me loved your line about Viagra; a sad truth that I was able to find humor in: “Hard core patriarchal males tend to hold on to ingrained resentment toward women as hard and as long as they hold on to the thrill of Viagra mixed with a cocktail of secrecy and sadism cemented by wealth and power.” – Dr. Parthenia Grant

  6. Women are undoubtedly playing a key role in dismantling the patriarchy, but aren’t men the ones who are gonna have to eventually and willing “lay down their arms”? Take me for example. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been doing my part in not making use of the patriarchal privileges that being born a man comes with. In general, women have been my greatest teachers. My consciousness has allowed me to be guided and taught by women without feeling “threatened”. I feel I have a healthy dose of feminine and masculine energies working within me, which always helps. Also, I know of heterosexual men who’s feminine energy shines through and I’ve seen first hand how they allow themselves to be transformed by the women in their lives. Just yesterday, I witnessed such an event. Would you say that a new breed of men is being born with enough feminine energy to allow themselves to be guided by women into a more peaceful realm of existence? If so, where is this energy coming from? Are we being assisted or are humans taking great leaps in consciousness all on their own? I suspect we’re being assisted but please help me out here.

  7. I am glad you are aware of how huge the problem is, Daniel, and the affect it has on women. It’s important to increase the awareness of males and to invite them to become a part of the solution.

  8. Oran Banks, What a beautiful sentiment. It shows your awareness of the divine feminine in women who are awake and aware.

  9. Oran Banks, Sadly, I am all too aware of how scary the truth is for everyone to face; that’s why so many people are in denial. So glad you are not one of those men. Keep spreading awareness among your bretheren.

  10. Doctor, thank you for sharing this powerful truth that many people refuse to see, as you mentioned in the beginning of your article. With Cosby having dark sunglasses, it is like society purposely blinds people in order for us to bind to what they want to control and in this case patriarchal injustice. From the beginning of time, women have been blamed, as you mentioned, with the downfall of Eden by Eve. Now, it’s time to wake up and really see the truth which has been misconstrued before our eyes for millions of years, the feminine energy is what is here to deliver us today to come out the darkness and deliver justice and truth.

  11. Daniel Fabela, Indeed, I would agree with you that a new breed of young men are definitely being born with more balanced feminine/masculine energy. This type of male, working with the divine feminine energy that is in all of us, is what will be the saving grace for society and is the energy that will eventually replace patriarchy which has seen the height of its heyday. A friend of mine sent me a short documentary about groups of women in Kenya who have created self sufficient little villages where no men are allowed to live. They take in run away brides and women with children who are being beaten and abused by their husbands. They make jewelry and sell it to be self sufficient.

    Men from surrounding villages have come and robbed the women and beaten them in an attempt to destroy this new way of life where women are putting their money together to create a school that is open to children from all of the villages. From these robberies and beatings the women have learned to ban together to fight off the men who come to their village to rob them, harm them or to kidnap the wives who have run away form them to seek asylum in the women’s village. It feels like this may be a necessary and viable first step that allows women to heal from the trauma of abuse and regain their power and strength to feel safe again and able to protect themselves from bullies and abusive males.

    The boys growing up in these villages are being taught to respect girls and work together as equals vs. believing they are superior and that they have the right to dominate and subjugate women. What I found interesting in this documentary “No Men Allowed” is that when the young woman interviewing the women asked if they would ever consider getting married again or living with a man, every one of them answered absolutely not. Their focus is on education, creativity and living in a safe, sustainable community where they do not have to be worried about getting abused and where the girls can grow up without fear of undergoing genital mutilation.

    As I watched the documentary, I thought, western women are so much better off financially, but are actually doing nothing sustainable or workable in terms of changing the culture of abuse in America. The original village has spawned break away groups who learned from the original matriarch. They now have villages where men are allowed to live with the women but these are men who have renounced the patriarchal practices of their villages and desire to live in harmony with women. Honestly, that is a far cry from where we are in America. One of my friends reminded me that this is so because Americans prefer the “illusion” of being free and progressive. That is sadly so. I garner hope from the women in Kenya. My friend also reminded me that it was appropriate that the movement to a more balanced matrilineal society take place in Africa. After all, it is the birthplace of humanity.

  12. Mayra, I agree that the divine feminine energy has arrived to help deliver men and women and show them the way out of the mess that patriarchy made. The “House That Jack Built, Yall” is beginning to tumble down and we are beginning to come up with new ideas and new ways to build houses that are sustainable.

  13. April Swally, it will be enlightened goddesses like you who will help write a new script to replace the worn out and unworkable one violently forced on us by patriarchy and sustained through bloodshed, violence and force. We are all tired of that. People are beginning to see that this is a new day and we need a new way of thinking and being. Tracy Chapman sang, a few decades ago: “Talkin’ Bout A Revolution” she said it “sounds like a whisper.” Well, the whispers are turning into a roar of voices saying “No more!”

  14. We as adult Goddesses and young girls, have walked the halls of fear all of our lives. The stories told that we heard while the moms and aunts spoke over coffee when we were children were frightening to a child. I know they were for me. The fear that set in while watching tv, Walking long dark halls alone, the Fear to get on an elevator with men or alone, and Being abused by the person who is constantly telling you that he “loves” you. So many fears cast a shadow over our lives. Not knowing what to do with them, how to process them and most young girls are told, “ just be careful.”

    I am more than sure the Goddesses in the Cosby case was told the same and that advice came to no avail. So many fears Goddesses have to walk in the shadows of with patriarchal rule and dominance. Now with this ruling comes another fear because this patriarchal society gives and always will, a free ride to “men” society calls “stars.” The word star in of itself is a slap in the face to the Goddess because this patriarcal society has twisted words to mind fuck us in so many ways.

    We are about to witness another one of their twisted games. Everyone who is not connected will believe that our justice system will do the right thing and how dare me or anyone else ever see or think differently. However, by five o’clock today I know we are going to have a few more recruits seeing this crazy “justice” system shows its real colors. And I say welcome to all who see the light. I know this case has only put fire under the enlightened Goddesses.

    The movement away from this male dominated society has begun in a huge way. Women are beginning to separate themselves from men all together. Taking there space and living in a space where they find peace without a man in there life. Soon women only communities will start to appear all over the world and I welcome them with open arms.

    They have already begun in a very remote area in Kenya,Africa. This comes to no surprise to me because life began in Africa, why would the shift not have its New Beginnings in the same place, Africa. A Goddess Peaceful New World.

    • Well, you were right, Angela, justice was not served in a powerful way, but it did, surprisingly come in. And under patriarchy, we have to celebrate our victories however small. So I am celebrating this one today because I feel it portends more to come.

      Here’s what I just posted on Facebook that relates to your comments.

      THE WALLS OF PATRIARCHY ARE TUMBLING DOWN!
      Here are highlights of the Cosby sentencing today that indicate to me the walls of patriarchy are finally beginning to crumble. In my article, I posed the question whether Cosby’s sentencing would be the end or would extend Patriarchy. It’s the beginning of the end. Even though Cosby should have gotten the maximum sentence, he did get labeled a Violent Sexual Predator. HE is. I worked on the set of Ghost Dad with him. MY experience with for months, revealed in my article, should remove any doubt you may have that his conviction and sentencing were racist. Race had nothing to do with his behavior; it was kept under cover all these years by money, privilege, and power. And bail was denied, which I addressed in my article. I did not believe he should have been kept out on bail for five months during sentencing. The state of Pennsylvania agreed with me that he is still a dangerous sexual predator. Age does not stop him from dropping a date rape drug in a drink.

      I fully expect to see the #MeToo! ensure that Harvey Weinstein and all of the other sexual predators in Corey Feldman’s child sex ring in Hollywood to push for prosecution and conviction in those cases and all of the other dangerous sexual predators who need to be in jail right now keeping Cosby company. They can all cry on each other’s shoulders and lose sleep the way that all of their victims have over the years feeling powerless to do anything about these powerful men who abuse their positions and authority.

      https://edition.cnn.com/…/…/bill-cosby-sentencing/index.html

      My highlights:

      “Mr. Cosby’s trial and conviction has played out at a time when the country is coming to terms with a culture of predatory sexual abuse by powerful men.

      A psychologist representing Pennsylvania’s Sexual Offenders Assessment Board who testified Monday, the first day of Mr. Cosby’s sentencing hearing. That psychologist had said Mr. Cosby had demonstrated a lifetime interest in sex with non-consenting women, which indicated a mental abnormality.

      But the psychologist for the state panel, Kristen F. Dudley, said she did not believe the disorder had dissipated with age. “It is possible that he has already met someone who could be a future victim,” she said.

      Kevin R. Steele, the Montgomery County District Attorney, said Monday that the judge should use the sentencing to send a wider message.

      “The bottom line, your honor, is nobody’s above the law,” said Mr. Steele. “Others in a similar situation need to understand that.”
      New York Times

      CNN Reports
      Cosby accuser Lili Bernard, an actress who said Cosby drugged and raped her, told CNN that today’s verdict was a “hallelujah moment” for her despite feeling “mixed emotions” over its length.

      “This is a momentous decision in the me-too era,” Bernard said. She added:
      “It’s incredibly important. I do have mixed emotions. On the one hand I feel absolutely elated that justice was served. On the other hand I also feel disappointed because clearly the three-year minimum sentence does not adequately reflect the havoc this man, this rapist, has inflicted on so many women including myself.”

      “It does indicate there is now a shift in the legal system that is now going to reflect modern culture and that now women’s voices are being believed and women’s lives are being valued.

  15. Thank you for sharing this article! It’s incredibly timely with so many high-profile men under investigation for harassing and/or assaulting women. You’re absolutely right that we have to celebrate the small victories, but I’m very concerned about the final outcome of Judge Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearings. The Senate Republicans show no sign of abandoning him as their pick- at least ahead of tomorrow’s Judiciary Committee hearing. I also find it curious that they’ve chosen a female prosecutor to question Kavanaugh and his accuser, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. Was this done because the GOP wants to look like it supports women? Or, since this is a partisan process, do they think a female prosecutor casting doubt on the victim will seem more credible because they’re both women? I say all of this because it seems for every step forward, we’re still always at risk of losing significantly more ground than we’ve gained. Another example is former CEO and Chairman of CBS Les Moonves – there’s still a possibility he might receive his $120 MILLION exit payout. Yesterday’s sentencing in the Cosby case is absolutely something to celebrate but what we need is a series of wins with significant consequences, not isolated victories. Until men and boys see that there are guaranteed consequences for ANY misconduct or abuse against women, nothing will really change.

    • All of your assessments are on point, Morgan, especially the one about the motivations of Republicans for choosing a female prosecutor. That’s a tried and true move of patriarchy. There is always an honorary male in a female body who will do the dirty work for them. That’s another patriarchal program that has done wonders to prop up patriarchy without men having to do much work at all. Males simply stick together and support each other, right or wrong … “bros before hoes” while women have been programmed to be jealous, competitive and unsupportive of each other. Unfortunately, this has been true with 90% of women, though the percentage has decreased with the solidarity of the #MeToo movement.

      The problem is that patriarchy goes out of its way to ensure that, the small percentage of women in real positions of power (in America that number is an appallingly low 3% that may have risen a point or two since the last statistics on it, but certainly not much), are those who will uphold patriarchal values. In other words, they work hard to ensure that women who get into positions of power will not support policies that go against the patriarchal monster machine.

      The other thing that bothers me about the Kavanagh conundrum is what it’s saying about the values of a really large percentage of the American population regarding the issue of sexual abuse and harassment. It is clearly viewed as a woman’s problem, with the implication that every woman who reports it is lying and should expect to be blamed and to have her character assassinated. The sheer contempt this shows for women astonishes me every time. How can anyone except the insane support such a system?

      And I agree that we definitely need more than isolated victories here and there. I do not feel that a 3 year minimum sentence fits the crimes Cosby committed; it should have been life without parol. I think that Harvey Weinstein and all of the pedophiles involved in the child sex ring that Corey Feldman exposed five years ago should be sitting in jail with Cosby right now. None of them have charges filed against them. And until all of them are actually prosecuted and suffer consequences, none of this will end. Just look at how many centuries (about 5) the witch burnings continued. They did not stop until prominent males in positions of power (i.e. the clergy who were behind the whole thing) got burned at the stake. Suddenly, men were like: “Hey, we gotta do something to stop this shit; I might be on the fire next.” It’s all about protecting their own asses. And until there is a real fire lit under the asses of men and they feel they are actually under threat and in danger of losing their freedom to do as they damn well please to women and children with no real consequence, this madness will continue unchecked.

      Honestly, for the handful of men who claim to care, you see less than 1% of them speaking out, standing in solidarity with women; and it’s mostly young males. I think this is because they feel that they have more to lose going against other males because the societal program for men to protect male privilege at all costs is more important to them than protecting the women in their lives that they claim to love. At the end of the day, this could not continue without every man who claims to love their daughters, wives, girlfriends, sisters, and mothers saying nothing and doing even less to stop it. You just don’t see enough men fighting along side women to stop the madness. Which brings me to this point about women. In the documentary about the woman in Kenya who founded the first “No Men Allowed” society in Kenya, what prompted her to leave her husband and create this community was after she was beaten by men in her village and her husband said and did nothing.

      At the end of the day, nothing will change as long as women stay with men who do and say nothing to change a system that subsists off of women taking care of them (yes, women give birth to and take care of men in society until they can take care of themselves. Most men then grow up to either abuse other women or silently allow other men to abuse women).

      Women and men will both have to change. Since most men seem to prefer the company of other males anyway, maybe they need to see what life is really like without the support of the women in their lives who love them. I’m just sayin’ … I have no problem pointing out the white elephant in the room that everybody else ignores.

  16. To: Dr. Grant,
    Thank you for such an excellent, comprehensive, impeccably researched, and compelling argument against what should never have been allowed to become normal in any society across the globe. Your unique perception and ability to connect-the-dots, pulls back the veil and highlights (as you mentioned) “the white elephant” that no one wants to acknowledge or talk about as being the root problem in our societies. After all, what woman off the top of anyone’s heads can be named as the cause of significant damage to their fellow humans or to Mother Earth? Ask the same question re: men and I can assure you there isn’t enough ink in the world to complete the list. While the truth is enough to boil my blood, I have always been in agreement that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind and the documentary about the (man free) Kenyan village is proof that there is a peaceful way to get the peace we all deserve. These women simply removed themselves from an environment that did not support or edify them, which we all have the right and deserve to do. It helps that they have a support system within themselves and I applaud this non combative way of solving the problem. I can’t imagine it was easy as it goes against societal norms and so I consider it highly courageous and think it’s indicative of a woman’s self worth exceeding the need to be accepted by her husband or anyone else. Just because something has become normal and acceptable to others, does not mean it’s right or good for you. In my opinion, women will not be appreciated by patriarchal men until they remove themselves from the equation and these men are left alone to fight amongst themselves, without the beauty, warmth, and sensuality of a woman to calm their turbulent minds and bodies. Let them find out what a cold world it is without a woman at their side and no nurturing energy to edify them. If we think the world is bad now, imagine men left alone with only fake history and Darwin’s Theory to guide them. Thus, if women could manage to come together in silent and peaceful solidarity apart from men, I think it’s the thing that could bring women and men back together quickly in a mutually appreciative and respectful way. Nothing will change in a major way until it’s deemed necessary. One example of this is the effect that one airline has had on an entire notoriously greedy industry. Remember when there were no bag fees on airlines except with more than two bags? Then there was some BS about oil prices going up and I distinctly remember the airlines saying they “temporarily” had to charge fees on each bag due to the increase in fuel charges. Not long after all airlines implemented the new bag fees, the gas prices went back down and yet all airlines kept charging these fees in addition to same already high ticket costs and laughing at us all the way to the bank pocketing the free extra cash we handed over without complaint. It wasn’t until Spirit Airlines appeared on the scene, offering a cheaper way to travel that other airlines made changes. With Spirit, they charge bare minimum ticket prices and up-sell everything else (even water on the plane) claiming you only pay for what you use unlike other airlines where things you may not use or care about are included in your ticket cost. This enables people to travel really inexpensively as long as they are minimalist packers and know how to roll and consolidate items into small backpack sized luggages. With this policy, Spirit has emerged as a major player forcing every domestic airline to offer the same type of bare bones fare that they call “basic economy” in order to get back some of the market share Spirit has snatched up. The exception to this being Southwest, but then again, Southwest does not charge baggage fees unless it’s more than 2 bags. My point here is that these airlines had to see many customers leave in favor of something they found more favorable and preferable to their lifestyle in order for these huge behemoth airlines to take steps and make changes to earn the business back. That is what Patriarchal societies and organizations must experience as well: a major loss in customers who buy into the bull shit.

    • At the end of the day, Crystal, breakaway societies throughout history have always been the most viable and peaceful solution to larger oppressive societies. The problem, as noted in the documentary about the Kenyan women who broke away from their culture, patriarchal males have ganged up on the women, robbed and beaten them to destabilize their new culture. The women banned together fearlessly and fought the men off. Although it’s still a present danger, the women are not afraid of these men. I think fearlessness is the key to combating bullies.

      What’s interesting is that patriarchal societies were established based on violence and enslavement of humans and has been preserved based on this same vicious principle of ganging up on, beating and killing anyone who refuses to go along with their insanely brutal and unsustainable Culture of Death. That is what I label them because they are anti life, and anti freedom. Violence, bloodshed, and destruction is their legacy and calling card. And they are bloody well proud of it.

      Thus, massive reeducation will be necessary in these break away societies, along with psychological treatment programs for men and women who are sane enough to see the insanity in patriarchal beliefs and want to breakaway as well. For men to be integrated within these societies they have to abandon the belief that violence, domination, and control over another human being is normal. They will have to move out of competition and into cooperation.

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